Don’t flush unless it’s a number 2
Today we were driving from town back home to West-End along the ‘Sir Francis Drake Highway’ big name for a small and winding road. (On this road you never make it into your fifth gear) Suddenly Reineke saw some weird but wonderful glittering on one of the beaches beside the road.
I stopped the car like a typical Tortolian, right in the middle of the road and of course I did not use my back mirror. (Don’t even know if I have one). It was a elegant old green rum bottle with a rolled paper inside and a red lack sealed cork. We opened the bottle, rolled out the paper…
Dear Reineke and Willem,
As you know I have been considering writing a book on our trip to you in Tortola BVI, I have been wondering what the headings could be ? Something along the lines like this:
Dedicated: To Franca my long suffering wife
preamble: By Ronald Selter and John Byrne!
Chapter 1: The Journey there and how to pass away 50 hours with KLM and Air France.
Chapter 2: The lost bag and dealing with an unhappy daughter.
Chapter 3: The Flying Fuckers Greeting; Mosquitoes 652 hits! Keith 5.
Chapter 4: Sleep! Why so much? Why under a net? Why does it not work? Why so much noise out side?
Chapter 5: Water! Don’t flush unless it’s a number 2.
Sub Chapter A: a bowl of piss and the attraction of the Flying Fuckers!
Sub chapter B: don’t have a Full Shower: ‘first Wet than soap and than rinse!’
Sub Chapter C: grey water tanks evaluation.
Sub Chapter D: Willem, if we run out of water I can order a truck load, but I am not sure they will get up the road?
Sub Chapter E: builder chat on size of water tanks!!!!
‘Man! Your tanks were built to supply a swimming pool! You don’t have to worry about water!’
We find this out on our last day! So we could flush to our hearts content, and saw a big reduction in the Flying Fuckers
Sub Chapter F: in the Beds and Bars Group the directors shower together, naked, with buckets, out side! Sadly Franca did not join us and Reineke is not a director, can’t think why not? I noted one of us who does shower, has an all over tan, and the other rather Lilly white!!!!
Sub Chapter H: no Power, no electric, so hot and now the Flying Fuckers come as storm troopers from the 3rd Reich dive bombers.
Chapter 6: electric, power, generator?
Chapter 7: Loss of Weight and need for blood transfusion = Flying Fuckers
Chapter 8: Breakfast in paradise, check your cereal is not alive and watch out you are Breakfast for the Flying Fuckers!
Chapter 9: Diving and swimming with the sharks, just like another day in the office, with a man whose wetsuit smells of piss? Must have stayed in the guest house before me? Who does not like any one other then heterosexual man from the Isle of Mann
Sub Chapter A: Reineke and Chesca studying.
Sub Chapter B: Me studying 7 chapters rather then 5 and no you can’t keep the book!
Sub Chapter C: The Wreck Dive and Willem’s comments which will remain with me till my dying day Reineke!
Sub Chapter D: the night dive and how not to do it !
Sub Chapter E: we all pass of dining exams, but my Italian instructor to tired to question me and we have a beer instead !
Chapter 10: The Best on the Island!!! Best saying of the entire trip!
Chapter 11: Take Away Food but can you catch it the wild Chickens!!!
Chapter 12: The Cat’s life is a hard one!
Chapter 13: The 3,000 $ Car, with missing parts but it was a good buy on the hour every hour even in the owners sleep.
Chapter 14: The driving, just pray and there are a lot of churches there, lots!
Chapter 15: The View from Pig Villa? One of the best in the world and its looking at an island named after a Dutch Pirate!
Chapter 16: The Beaches, beach life, beach food and beach ware! Underpants the Dutch and The English bring culture to Island life.
Chapter 17: The artist and the beach party dinner and CNN, trellis bay
Chapter 18: The Kids and the Field of Dreams School.
Chapter 19: The Journey home, running water, food you don’t have to kill first before you eat it, electric and NO FLYING FUCKERS !!!!!
I am working on a name for my book, can any of you offer some suggestions?
And as Ernie said in the Terminator (hang on that could be another chapter) ill be back ! We had a wonderful time with wonderful people and I am sure the flying fuckers will be looking forward to having us back to, as you are.
Dear Keith, Franca and Chesca,
Thanks for your stay with us. Isar is still talking about his Yoga Nika dreams about you Franca. Isar is missing Chesca. I sleep better knowing Reineke and Chesca are able to rescue the world. We are saving extra water for next year, I miss our showers together in the rain Keith and yes we are ready for a new chapter and really looking forward seeing you all back.
For all the uncensored pictures please click on show
Love Reineke, Willem, Isar and Nika
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November 10th, 2009 at 19:16
Welke taal is dit??